Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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