You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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