Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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