I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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