Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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