Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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