what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
