you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
