I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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