just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
