i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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