This is not my ceiling
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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