ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
