dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have fence marks all over my body
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
