we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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