If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
