so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
