She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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