he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
