There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
