there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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