Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
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I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
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I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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