i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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