Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize