you would pick up someone in the library
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I think I sprained my soul last night
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Randomize
