I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
