And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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