I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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