i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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