her vagine was all disorganized.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
