...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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