It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
