ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
