I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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