do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
