Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
