i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
