Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
