its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm always down for nudity.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
