Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Blood and glitter go together right?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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