What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
