Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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