Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize