The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
