I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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