i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize