Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
