why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
