were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
