i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
