So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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