If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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