He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
