If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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