She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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