No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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